Nightmare on My Street…

Dream Warrior….

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Imagine for a second, the moment you open your eyes on any given morning, that you KNOW that you’re going to die that day. What would you do? How would you act? Where would you go, and who would you see? Would you even leave the house if you believed that staying home would prevent it? Really take a second and think about it. Most will say that they can’t imagine an answer to all of those things, but then they’ll ask me: If you KNEW, why didn’t you just stay home? My answer would be: Can you really hide from lyfe? Doesn’t lyfe go on with or without you, even if you try to pause your own? Well of course it does.

On May 5, 2001 I died. That day is the birthday of someone I once considered a good friend. I had the whole day played out in my head, and planned out to make sure he had a great day, but there’s this old saying: The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. We’ll call that understatement of the year for this day lol. Have you ever been told to trust your gut? Don’t fight the feeling when something is telling you that things aren’t right? Well the moment my feet hit the floor, I knew. This wasn’t a FEELING, this was absolute foresight. I didn’t know HOW, but I did know that it was an absolute fact.

The skeptics in the room are going: Nope, don’t believe it. So I’ll say this to you who don’t believe me YET. You’ve had those same feelings, but about smaller things. A friend invites you to a party / event, and SOMETHING tells you not to go. You don’t go, and something happens. What’s the 1st thing you say? Something told me not to go, and I’m glad that I didn’t. You know that feeling. Now magnify that by infinite levels. It’s like being clairvoyant / psychic or something. Hmmm, maybe I could be a psychic and predict futures lol

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So now that I know, what do I do? I continue on with my day of course. you CAN NOT hide from lyfe, but some extra confirmation would be nice, “Just In Case” right? So I’m banging out my routine. I shower, I get dressed, I take my hair out of the braids. I’m going to get my hair re-braided. Can’t be rough-looking at a celebration right? My boy gets his shower on, and then it’s time to go. Funny thing though, I’m a music junkie, and one of my favorite artist at the time was Jaheim, and one of the most popular shows for music during this time was 106 & Park on BET. How could you not love AJ & Free? Man oh man, Free. Lawd, but that’s a story for another time lol. Ok, staying focused lol. 106 & Park would always show a rerun the very next morning after the show aired. Why is this important? As we’re preparing to leave the house, they show the debut of Jaheim’s new song: Just In case. My fave artist at the time, new song / video? Why yes, I can take a moment to watch before we leave.

Now for those of you who don’t know, the lyrics to the hook are: Just In case, I don’t make it home tonite…… Hold up, wait, pause!!!!! Did he JUST say what I think he said? On the day where I’ve already been informed by the universe that I’m not going to make it home tonite? Hey, I did say some extra confirmation would be nice right? Well the universe decided to oblige. To make things even more complicated, Jaheim and I, in this video, are dressed Identical, with two exceptions: His hair is still braided, and the bandana he’s wearing had rhinestones. Mine did not.

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So video’s over, and off we go to knock out our day. A few errands. Pick up new Nextel phones from Sprint lol, hey don’t judge me. Everyone was about the Bloop bloop, and hollerin “Where you at” lol. Those things went off without a hitch, but then the universe is at play again. It aligns in a way that I start to see / speak to all of the people who are most important to me. We’re traveling to our old neighborhood to visit friends before the party that he’s unaware of, and this is where I always go to get my hair braided. 1st I see my Grandmother, who’s never home. This lady is where I get my love for traveling from, she’s always on the go, but on THIS day, she’s right where she needs to be. My best friend is home from college, and although she’s upset with me, and hasn’t spoken to me in a few days, here she is. I see my mom a few mins later, who just happens to be on this side of town by chance…. You guys see what’s happening here right? You still think I was imagining this “Feeling”? Everyone of importance, I had one “Last” convo with all in the span of about 25-20 mins, and then off to get my hair braided.

Imagine being the person braiding my hair, who I have a real close relationship with, and me telling you: Listen, when I walk out of the door tonite, It’ll probably be the last time we speak. Not because I’m being malicious, but because I’m going to die tonite. You would think I was being randomly paranoid. She did, but then I reminded her that she’s NEVER known me to be paranoid in my lyfe. Always calculated, but never paranoid. I know I put her in an awkward space, but I didn’t want to have it come as a surprise, after all, I already knew right? As I’m leaving, my little sister asked me not to go the way that I was headed, because she had a “bad feeling”, and I told her that you can’t run from lyfe, and that no matter what happened I’d be “Fine”. Don’t judge me lol. What else could I say to a little kid? I continue on, and what happens next…well…. YOU CAN NOT RUN FROM LYFE. Until next time…

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I’m No Hero

But I Play One On Tv….

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When you get hurt as bad as I did, one of two things usually happens, you either cower in fear from the rest of lyfe, or you become a tad bit insensitive. For those who already know me, you know that cowering in fear is just not who I am. It’s not what I do. I became more aggressive, if anything. I became sharper with my tongue, more honest. I felt it better to hurt you with honesty, than comfort you with a lie. Yes, you’d feel pain, but you’d respect me more. Pain is temporary, I needed the respect to last forever.

Now before I continue, let me answer the one OTHER question that I always get asked. No, I did not see a white light. No angels. No devils. No great halls with harps or horns lol. Now that I’ve answered that, are we good? Can I continue? Ok, great lol. Like most people, up until death #1 lol *Shrug*, I thought I was living lyfe. I wasn’t involved in any illegal activites. I went to work. I came home. I played my Playstation. In fact, I was working two jobs, and somehow, I thought that was the greatest thing. I had money to do whatever I wanted (or so I thought), I wasn’t wrapped up in any drama, and lyfe was what I thought to be “good”. How could it not be, afterall this is what you did as an adult right? My mother did it, my grandmother did it, aunts, uncles, etc etc. This is what adults do, and this is a representation of good lyfe (for most) right? No struggles, bills paid, I can go wherever I want (again, or so I thought lol).

What I missed in all of that was that I was serving a lyfe sentence, in what I THOUGHT was living. Now some of you just went: Is this dude crazy? He just said he wasn’t in any trouble, and now he’s talking about serving a lyfe sentence. Let me clarify. It’s the same lyfe sentence YOU’RE currently serving, you’re just unaware. When you work ONE full time job, you’ve committed to a 9-5, 40 hours a week, for 40 years of your lyfe (minimum sentencing), with 2 weeks off (vacation time) for good behavior. When you think about it, living lyfe that way is kind of crazy….

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Now think about what that’s like if you’re working TWO jobs. Sure, I had money to go wherever, or do whatever I wanted, but where could I go, or what could I do, when I’m always at work? There are some of you working two jobs right now, and not only is it tough for you to go wherever & whenever you want, but in today’s economy, you’re STILL broke. You’ve convince yourself that it’s ok, by saying things like: I may be broke, but at least my bills are paid… ┬átell me that isn’t crazy, just a little. Go ahead, try. I’ll wait… Now I’m in NO WAY mocking a job. I have one (as I mentioned before), and most days I love what I do lol. Most days. I’m just telling you what lyfe was like BEFORE I got shot.

Funny thing about lyfe, and the universe though. It WILL show you signs of change way before change comes, and don’t ever doubt it, because a change is gonna come. Would you believe that the morning that I got shot, I knew that I was going to die the moment I got out of bed? Could you continue with your regular day KNOWING that you were going die that day? The skeptic in you just said: There’s NO WAY he knew. I knew, and I told a few, a small few, that it was going to happen…… but I’ll save that for next time…. C’mon guys, sing with me: I guess I’ll see you next Lyfe Timeeeeeeee lol

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An Introduction / Living Lyfe

Welcome to my krazy world

You know, I wasn’t too sure about this blogging thing, but I wanted to talk to people and tell my story as I write parts of each chapter daily. I wanted to encourage people to live Lyfe to its fullest, by sharing my lyfe in pictures, words, and maybe even video.

So who am I, and what makes me think that I’m qualified to tell you about how you should live your lyfe? Well, when you lose your lyfe on 2 separate occasions…yes I said lose your lyfe, as in pronounced dead, but somehow came back…that makes you pretty much willing to talk to anyone about living lyfe AND appreciating it.

My name is Antonio Holloman. I was born and raised in Baltimore, MD. I graduated from THE Morgan State University with a Bachelor’s in Business Administration. I’m currently a travel agent in my part-time, while working the usual 40 hour a week job, and while for some that would be pretty boring, my lyfe is full of adventure. Hey, I’m a travel agent that actually travels, so the 40 doesn’t bother me as much as not getting on a plane lol.

Now I know you’re like: Sir, you just said that you died…twice, Please get to that. Ok I will. In May of 2001, I was shot 5x. I was hit in my heart, my lung, my left arm, and both legs. The bullet still remains in my heart, and NO I do not have issues with metal detectors lol, I wasn’t into any drugs, gangs, or other derogatory things like that, but I did have a reputation of someone that you did not want to cross hands with. In my neighborhood, you’re either the hammer or the nails, and everyday you had to prove which. The person who shot was once a close friend, but how else would he have been able to get close enough to light me up like that, right? 2 years later, I jumped in front of some people that I was pretty close to, and took a bullet in the a vital part of my back. Dead again, but I was the only one. Trust me, I’ve broken the premature dying habit *Fingers crossed* lol

So what does ME dying have to do with me telling you about living? Ask yourself this question: What’s the worst thing that I’ve ever been through? My response to your question: But did you die?

I’ll be back soon to chat with you guys, and more importantly I’ll explain exactly what The JetLyfe is. I hope you’ll have me.

 

But did you die