Imagine for a second, the moment you open your eyes on any given morning, that you KNOW that you’re going to die that day. What would you do? How would you act? Where would you go, and who would you see? Would you even leave the house if you believed that staying home would prevent it? Really take a second and think about it. Most will say that they can’t imagine an answer to all of those things, but then they’ll ask me: If you KNEW, why didn’t you just stay home? My answer would be: Can you really hide from lyfe? Doesn’t lyfe go on with or without you, even if you try to pause your own? Well of course it does.
On May 5, 2001 I died. That day is the birthday of someone I once considered a good friend. I had the whole day played out in my head, and planned out to make sure he had a great day, but there’s this old saying: The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. We’ll call that understatement of the year for this day lol. Have you ever been told to trust your gut? Don’t fight the feeling when something is telling you that things aren’t right? Well the moment my feet hit the floor, I knew. This wasn’t a FEELING, this was absolute foresight. I didn’t know HOW, but I did know that it was an absolute fact.
The skeptics in the room are going: Nope, don’t believe it. So I’ll say this to you who don’t believe me YET. You’ve had those same feelings, but about smaller things. A friend invites you to a party / event, and SOMETHING tells you not to go. You don’t go, and something happens. What’s the 1st thing you say? Something told me not to go, and I’m glad that I didn’t. You know that feeling. Now magnify that by infinite levels. It’s like being clairvoyant / psychic or something. Hmmm, maybe I could be a psychic and predict futures lol
So now that I know, what do I do? I continue on with my day of course. you CAN NOT hide from lyfe, but some extra confirmation would be nice, “Just In Case” right? So I’m banging out my routine. I shower, I get dressed, I take my hair out of the braids. I’m going to get my hair re-braided. Can’t be rough-looking at a celebration right? My boy gets his shower on, and then it’s time to go. Funny thing though, I’m a music junkie, and one of my favorite artist at the time was Jaheim, and one of the most popular shows for music during this time was 106 & Park on BET. How could you not love AJ & Free? Man oh man, Free. Lawd, but that’s a story for another time lol. Ok, staying focused lol. 106 & Park would always show a rerun the very next morning after the show aired. Why is this important? As we’re preparing to leave the house, they show the debut of Jaheim’s new song: Just In case. My fave artist at the time, new song / video? Why yes, I can take a moment to watch before we leave.
Now for those of you who don’t know, the lyrics to the hook are: Just In case, I don’t make it home tonite…… Hold up, wait, pause!!!!! Did he JUST say what I think he said? On the day where I’ve already been informed by the universe that I’m not going to make it home tonite? Hey, I did say some extra confirmation would be nice right? Well the universe decided to oblige. To make things even more complicated, Jaheim and I, in this video, are dressed Identical, with two exceptions: His hair is still braided, and the bandana he’s wearing had rhinestones. Mine did not.
So video’s over, and off we go to knock out our day. A few errands. Pick up new Nextel phones from Sprint lol, hey don’t judge me. Everyone was about the Bloop bloop, and hollerin “Where you at” lol. Those things went off without a hitch, but then the universe is at play again. It aligns in a way that I start to see / speak to all of the people who are most important to me. We’re traveling to our old neighborhood to visit friends before the party that he’s unaware of, and this is where I always go to get my hair braided. 1st I see my Grandmother, who’s never home. This lady is where I get my love for traveling from, she’s always on the go, but on THIS day, she’s right where she needs to be. My best friend is home from college, and although she’s upset with me, and hasn’t spoken to me in a few days, here she is. I see my mom a few mins later, who just happens to be on this side of town by chance…. You guys see what’s happening here right? You still think I was imagining this “Feeling”? Everyone of importance, I had one “Last” convo with all in the span of about 25-20 mins, and then off to get my hair braided.
Imagine being the person braiding my hair, who I have a real close relationship with, and me telling you: Listen, when I walk out of the door tonite, It’ll probably be the last time we speak. Not because I’m being malicious, but because I’m going to die tonite. You would think I was being randomly paranoid. She did, but then I reminded her that she’s NEVER known me to be paranoid in my lyfe. Always calculated, but never paranoid. I know I put her in an awkward space, but I didn’t want to have it come as a surprise, after all, I already knew right? As I’m leaving, my little sister asked me not to go the way that I was headed, because she had a “bad feeling”, and I told her that you can’t run from lyfe, and that no matter what happened I’d be “Fine”. Don’t judge me lol. What else could I say to a little kid? I continue on, and what happens next…well…. YOU CAN NOT RUN FROM LYFE. Until next time…